No Title
March 25, 2026
I am the center of the universe
In which everyone sees and judges me
I am the center of my story
Of which whatever may be
And what may not be
I am anything but a God
To tell apart the seas and the oceans
I am anything but a Follower
In search of the Lamb's way
I am anything but the Earth
For all the clouds and the lands to shift away
What have I truly learned now?
When have I learned anything now?
Why do I still resist this notion?
Have I lost touch with reality?
Nothing but a mind's broken;
Look at the mess that I have made
All the dust and all the grain on the floor
All the books and all the toys on the shelf
It's all a creation of someone's delusion
Late night hours turn to days
In front of a screen with texts and figures
Everybody saying all this and all that
To push away any consequence of life
Until midnight hits and wait for sleep to come around
"Are you depressed and tired?
Too late! You're a fully grown employee, boy!
Learn to be strong! Learn to be fast!
Don't get on my nerves or you won't see the light!
Do not forget, remember this!
What are you doing? Why are you doing this?
Are you just gonna stand there and wait for an order?
Are you doing this on purpose? To mess with me?
That's it, boy, I had enough of you!
Collect your stuff and go home, boy!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
Nobody but me, a fault of my own
All but real life, no shape and physique
Anywhere but here, some sense of direction
Flawed and torn, bits and pieces of what I was
This is me, my weird world of things
"You're taking everything to heart"
"What else am I supposed to think?
Not a headspace to clear myself
Thoughts of suicide, cause of harm
More different from the child of innocence
To no one but a deeply troubled man
I wish I never was a person or a human being
Become part of a society or a group of people
All I want is to be heard and understood
To want what I need and need what I want
To be forever kind and never be cruel
My world is different from the land I'm on
How everything is and how it all works
What they all do and what they're taught
Gates of Freedom locked behind a paywall
Forced to learn and work hard under pressure
I don't know what monster I have become
But I know why I am the way I am
One who does not listen to others
One who does not care about others
One who does not respect the rules
If letters on screen bring you negative feelings
And make you think you are God's Given Gift
Then who are you to tell me how to feel?
Who are you to fully control my life?
Why can't you respect my personal space?
It seems an awful lot to ask for this
At the cusp of it all, I am the one in denial
I don't even know if I deserve the things I have
Deserve to breathe the same air as you do
Why I'm letting my guards down for only myself!"
I have become the center
Of my own story that I lived so far
Anything but a good person
Whom without a thought and soul
All I have known is delusion and denial
Coexisting with other persons seems fruitless
My condition is nobody's business
In a world full of hatred and despair
Nothing makes sense to me anymore
How or when or why or what or ever
I'm no one but a shell
Of what I'm used to be
And what I will be
For anyone to see
In hopes
And only hopes
They will see
My crippling body
Fall apart...
One...
By one...
Not even
The wind
Can fix...
Or useless
Waters
Of text...
Anything...
It is
My own
Fault...
All
Alone
...