Lest I Forget My Fake Valentine

February 15, 2023

Used to be a protection but no more

I only fell for you because you were like me

I didn't think of much ado besides you

I said I fell in love with you

I said our lines will never separate

But after that I never saw you again

And now I feel crazy for loving you

It was all fake

I didn't believe it was real again

The way you imitated me

The way you felt like me

The way you felt for me

But you went after someone else

And I felt like I was cheated on

I was heartbroken

But did it even matter

We were both kids anyway

We shared the same school

We were both classmates

We were both autistic

What were we even thinking

Our love was never real

I never knew what it was like being in love

I still don't know what being in love is like

I feel like no one ever truly loves me

Not even my mom truly loves me anymore

Felt it was an illusion

Left me sleepless

Still got me up past 1 AM writing a poem about you

I wanted to remind myself about you

Felt already too late

Now everyone else around me found their Valentine

Animal and person

Being happy and being glad

As I'm still without a lover

A Valentine for me

But now I just want to move on

I don't feel like getting a Valentine anymore

Feeling empty and loveless

Maybe someone else cares for me

Someone who I don't know

Someone who maybe understands me

Sharing sympathy through digital words

Of what it's like to be alone on a Valentine's Day