Lesser

August 28, 2023

i'm fatigued,

possibly tired.

my head is fed up

with all the things i have to do again.

if i could pull up some Brian Eno

and try to study

i'd be a much better person.

but now

i'm forever a loner

and will never be myself again.

i've myself and everyone else to blame.

all these struggles are contained in me,

like ugly handwriting

on a loose leaf paper,

and this poem about otherness.

this world is ugly,

and i wish now

that nothing was overwhelming.

but now the pages have turned

and the pens have filled.

it's really about time

that i start going against

the problems of my own

and start making changes.

then we can settle

for the future of tomorrow.

but maybe,

just maybe...

i'm not ready.

i'm still here,

fumbling at my thumbs.

i'm so unsure of myself

that i have no idea where to go next.

everything i knew has changed.

...only for the worse.